Self-reflection and turning points to better self and leadership

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“We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.” – John Dewey

Sometimes in our life, we are at the point, where we have to make a choice, based on self-reflection and introspection.

In my life, one of the major turning points came in 2015.

My product was finally getting traction, and my company was seeing profitability and an increase in revenue. I loved every part of my professional life, and I was at the stage to start seeing the exponential effect of my last two years of efforts. 

My professional life was fulfilled, and my personal life was the least fulfilled. 

My marriage was perfect to outsiders, yet inside the closed door, I faced domestic violence and physical abuse. One night, when I came home after a long tiring week, my ex-husband decided to take out his anger on me. I fought for my life and was a few seconds away from my death.

That night, something shifted within me. It was not an easy decision, but it was worth my life. I gave two months and gathered all my courage to come out of that toxic relationship.

I left my unhappy marriage and happy professional life. I gave up on my dream of being an entrepreneur for the hope of life. 

That experience in my life taught me to learn to self reflect and introspect and accept the situation. I learned to embrace failure and move on. 

I learned compassion towards others and understood diversity and inclusion better. I learned to not be judgmental and open-minded towards my peers. 

I could read in-between the lines, and soon I started managing multi-million dollar programs. I managed a team of 35+ people successfully as I could naturally feel empathy towards my subordinates and clients.

I gained the strength to stand for what is right and ethical and lead with integrity. I became more courageous to take right and bold long term decisions without fear and by considering all consequences. 

I became more resilient to ask for help in any difficult situation and ask the right questions. I learned to have transparent need-based communication with a cross-functional team. I learned to focus on what was most important for the success of a program or a project. I offered honesty and trust. I learned to have a calm demeanor.

Turning points in our lives, help us to be a better version of ourselves and more importantly, accept who we are. That broadens our vision and increases humility within us. We are humans, our personal and professional life cannot be separated. One experience reflects on another and we should learn to accept that with grace.

In my case, I was offered a leadership role, where I could help my team and my clients to have better business processes, automation, infrastructure, smart solutions, and a motivated team that built a long term relationship and growth. 

This in turn helped me to be a better person and a better leader. 

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