We were never meant to run on empty.
And yet, how many of us do?
We lead the meeting. Send the follow-up. Hold space for our teams, our families, our friends. We smooth out the tension, pick up what others drop, and do it all with grace—even when we’re silently burning out inside.
But here’s what no one puts in a job description (or on your résumé):
Leadership without self-compassion is a slow leak.
Eventually, it catches up.
That’s why I want to talk about something rarely spoken about in boardrooms, but absolutely essential for every woman navigating ambitious careers, leadership roles, or tech corridors with fluorescent lighting and even sharper expectations:
Self-compassion.
Not the bubble bath version.
The bold, nourishing, reclaim-your-power kind.
My Awakening (at Barnes & Noble, of all places)
A few years ago, on a lazy Sunday, I was browsing books with my cousin when she nudged me toward a guided journal. The cover read: Mindful Journaling. I bought it, mostly out of curiosity.
Each morning, I’d flip open a page. One day, it said:
“Be kind to me for the entire day.”
That sentence nearly knocked the breath out of me.
I had no idea how to do that.
I had spent years being kind to others.
To my family, as a good daughter.
To my ex-husband, even after our abusive marriage ended.
To my team, always the understanding leader, always composed.
But I had never learned how to offer myself the same tenderness.
So I began to explore what kindness to me might look like. I stumbled upon Kristin Neff’s work, devoured her writing, and slowly—almost hesitantly—I started practicing.
And let me tell you: it changed everything.
Self-Compassion Isn’t a Buzzword—It’s a Rebellion
We’ve been taught to equate leadership with perfection. With strength that doesn’t crack, with over-delivery, with suppressing our humanity to fit the mold.
But self-compassion isn’t weakness.
It’s knowing that you can lead and be soft.
That your value doesn’t increase by overextending.
That being gentle with yourself is the most radical form of resilience.
And for women in tech, where logic is king and vulnerability is rarely invited, self-compassion is a quiet revolution.
Practices I Swear By (and You Can Sip Tea With)
1. Curate your energy like a luxury wardrobe
Toxic people don’t deserve premium access to your nervous system. Whether it’s a boss who micromanages or a friend who always calls in crisis mode, boundaries aren’t rude. They’re refined.
2. Audit your emotional economy
Some relationships aren’t abusive, but they’re emotionally expensive. If you find yourself over-explaining, over-giving, or over-compensating… darling, it’s time to step back.
3. Romanticize your self-worth
You are still worthy if you’re in a transition. You are still worthy without a fancy job title. Wear lipstick on a Tuesday. Make tea in your favorite cup. Give your present self the adoration you’re saving for “when things get better.”
4. Be a snob with your time
Your calendar is sacred real estate. Stop renting space to people who make you feel small. Choose joy. Choose depth. Choose mutuality.
5. Listen to your body’s whisper before it screams
Tension in your chest? Gut pulling in a different direction? That’s your intuition speaking. Tune in before burnout forces you to.
6. Make rituals, not just routines
Go beyond to-do lists. Dance in your kitchen. Walk barefoot on grass. Try therapy, sound baths, or energy healing if it calls to you. The most powerful women I know have a rich inner life. That’s not indulgence—it’s intelligence.
7. Let your inner child join the leadership table
She’s still there. The one who was silenced, rushed, and shamed. Let her play. Let her rest. Let her be. Wholeness makes you a better leader than any polished façade ever will.
The Chicest Power Move? Radical Self-Kindness
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to “fix” yourself before you can love yourself.
You don’t need permission to protect your peace.
Being kind to yourself isn’t weakness.
It’s how you stay anchored when life (or the industry) is turbulent.
So as you sip your afternoon tea—slow down for a moment.
Ask yourself gently:
Have I been kind to me lately?
Not productive. Not perfect. Not polished.
Just… kind.
Because when women in leadership practice self-compassion, we don’t just change how we lead.
We change what leadership looks like.
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