There’s a difference between power and force.

Force pushes. It tries to control, dominate, and prove.
Power magnetizes. It chooses alignment, speaks truth, and holds steady.

For years, I lived in a state of force, without even realizing it.
I was a woman in tech, a startup founder, a leader trying to keep pace with expectations that felt like armor and chains.
I shape-shifted to be the “good wife,” the “top performer,” the “strong one” in rooms not built for softness.
I spent nights overthinking every word in a work email and mornings putting on lip gloss and silence before walking into spaces where I felt unseen.
I even apologized for nothing, softening my truth to keep others comfortable.

I was good at force. I knew how to lead with strategy and precision. But inside, I was exhausted and disconnected. I was swimming upstream. In work, in love, in life.

It took a breaking point, a full unraveling after divorce and burnout, for me to finally stop.
To stop proving. To stop chasing.
To stop trying to perform and start tuning in.

I sat alone at my kitchen table one morning and just… listened.
No noise. No distractions. No plans.
And in that stillness, I met myself again.
She wasn’t interested in winning. She was interested in truth.
In presence. In peace.

One of the most powerful frameworks that helped me understand this shift was David R. Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness, from his book Power vs. Force.
It charts human emotions and states of being as frequencies and energetic levels that influence how we move through life.

Everything below 200 on the scale is force energy driven by fear, shame, guilt, and pride.
Everything above 200 is power energy rooted in courage, love, joy, and peace.

Here’s a glimpse of the scale:

• Force frequencies: Shame (20), Guilt (30), Fear (100), Anger (150), Pride (175)
• Power frequencies: Courage (200), Neutrality (250), Willingness (310), Acceptance (350), Love (500), Joy (540), Peace (600)

The turning point is courage when you stop reacting to life’s pressures and start choosing your response.

When I was living in force, I hovered between pride and fear.
I was achieving, performing, and managing perceptions, but internally, I was surviving.
The relentless force of trying to prove myself wore me down.

The moment I began cultivating courage, letting go of shame and the need to please, the frequency of my entire world shifted.
I started to lead from a place of alignment and ease, not control and exhaustion.

Everyone who walks into my home says the same thing: “It feels so peaceful here.”
They pause. They breathe differently. Some get emotional without knowing why.
But it’s not about the decor or the soft light.
It’s the energy I carry, the frequency I hold.
That calm isn’t just a space, it’s me.

I had to clear away layers of force, expectation, and performance to get here.
I had to stop fixing, proving, and perfecting.
I had to stop apologizing for being too much, too quiet, too intuitive—just for being me.

And now I know, my presence matters.
Whether leading a high-stakes meeting or walking into a room full of strangers, I shift the energy by simply being myself.
Unapologetic. Authentic. Soft and powerful all at once.

I hear it in whispers:
“You make me feel safe.”
“I can finally breathe around you.”
“You see what others miss.”

This presence isn’t magic. It’s alignment.
It’s power, not force.

In the tech world and startups, so often we confuse hustle and burnout for leadership.
We think showing up means performing at 110% even if it drains our soul.
But true leadership, the kind that lasts, comes from love as a frequency.
Not romantic love. The love of clarity, of truth, of being seen and standing in your own power.

I’ve seen this shift in my own life and in the lives of clients.
Leaders burned out by endless force who, when they step into power, discover a magnetic presence.
Teams that begin to trust, ideas that flow with ease, relationships that deepen, all because someone chose alignment over struggle.

In my coaching, I don’t give more frameworks to force your way to success.
I help leaders tune into their own power frequency.
We slow down, clear the noise, and remember what it feels like to lead from the heart, not hustle.

Because your nervous system is your greatest leadership tool.
Your frequency is your brand.
When you lead from love, you don’t have to chase, prove, or perform.
You simply become the signal.

If you’re a woman in tech, a startup founder, or a leader tired of being forced and ready for power, this is your invitation.
To stop apologizing for your light.
To lead with heart.
To rise with presence.

Because this isn’t just leadership.
It’s a revolution of energy.
And it starts with you.